|Aaron and I in February 2008|
I’ll never forget this time in my life. It was senior year right before spring break. I didn’t have any big plans. Aaron and I were “on” and I just figured we’d do the usual and bum around with his friends while I do all the driving and we chain smoked. But then I realized that my period was late. It was NEVER late. I was sorta kinda on the pill. We sometimes used protection. Let’s be honest here.. we were IDIOTS. Idiots that felt they were invincible. So yes, I instantly knew there was a chance I could be pregnant.
I remember approaching my mom in the kitchen and giving her a casual heads up. It went something like this, “My periods a day late”. Definitely not something a mom wants to hear her daughter say at this age. I decided that if I didn’t get it by the next day I would take a test. So then it happened. The first day of spring break my senior year of high school. I had pregnancy tests waiting. I woke up and went outside to smoke what I knew was going to be my last cigarette. I never wanted that cigarette to end. My mom was at work. My step dad was home along with my 3 young siblings. I snuck myself into the bathroom with the box of tests hidden in my shirt. I remember it taking forever to get up the courage to take the test. I was shaking, sweating and my heart felt like it was beating in my throat. I knew it was going to be positive but I wasn’t pregnant until it was clear to me on the stick. And sure enough, the time wasn’t even up yet and there it was. Positive. I instantly started sobbing and fell to the rug on the bathroom floor. After the shock set in a little I go into my room and dial my moms number. Once she picked up and all she could hear was crying she instantly knew. I didn’t say a single word. Just cried. All she said was, “I’m on my way home”.
There’s no way to describe the way I felt, how it felt when it hit me that there is a baby growing inside of my body. I’m 18. Still in high school. Cheering for the boys Varsity basketball team. Working as a host in a restaurant. Aaron was 16. With no license. Working at a fast food restaurant.
When my mom got home she just sat with me on my bed and let me cry. The first thing she said was “You know how much I wanted to have more kids but you didn’t have to go and have them for me!” She tried to lighten the mood and her words gave me such a relief. I was worried she would be mad. Which would have added so much more stress to an already stressful situation. I really am thankful for how my mom handled things.
My mom told me that whatever it is I wanted to do she would support me 100%. In my head I didn’t have a decision to make. I had the support of my mom, a loving family and the strength to raise this baby. Adoption was out of the question and abortion just simply wasn’t an option. I was going to have this baby and do my absolute best at raising him.
Aaron was at work while all of this was happening. He didn’t have his license so I was picking him up. News like this is something I knew I had to tell him in person when I got there.
Nothing could prepare me for what happened next and the days to follow.