Saturday, May 4, 2013

The Story of Levi - Part Two

It was time to pick up Aaron from work and tell him the news. I had no idea how he was going to react. I told him I was pregnant in the parking lot right after he had gotten in my car. He said things like “What are we going to do?” and rattled off all of the different reasons why we weren’t qualified to bring a child into this world. I told him that there’s no decision to make. I’m having the baby with or without him. He wasn’t ready to tell his parents. We actually weren’t going to tell anyone for a while but we decided to confide in one of Aaron’s friends. It became more real now that it wasn’t just between us (and my mom).

We didn’t talk about it much for the first few days. I was almost scared to bring it up. I didn’t want it to turn into a fight. During this time Aaron got his license and a new car to drive around in. I was cheering in the state basketball tournament and had to tell my coach that I was pregnant. Especially since I was the girl that was thrown up in the air. I told everyone on the squad that I just wasn’t feeling well and I really wasn’t. Morning sickness was starting to kick in. I couldn’t go anywhere without saltine crackers.

I was really nervous about telling my Dad. I didn’t see him all that often since I was so busy with sports and school so I decided to give him a call. My Dad was just as supportive as my mom but with a lot more of “Just really think about your decision. You have time to think about it.” which I appreciated but I just kept telling him “I know, Dad. I’ve made up my mind.”

I felt so strongly about needing to tell Aaron’s parents. I put a lot of pressure on him about it. I felt that the longer we waited the worse it would be. We had known for a couple weeks now. I decided that I couldn’t take it any longer. So, I contacted his mom and told her that there was something I needed to talk to her about and asked if she could come over. I then contacted Aaron and asked him to come over at the same time.. without telling him that his mom was coming. I told my Mom what was going on and asked if she would sit in on it for support. While I was waiting for them I was a nervous wreck. I see her car pull up and Aaron is inside. Why did I think she wouldn’t ask him why I wanted to talk to her? Of course she was going to. When I answered the door I could see it on both of their faces. She already knew what was going on and Aaron was pissed at what I had done. The whole time we talked emotions were running high. I cried through practically the entire thing and when they left I felt miserable. I should have given Aaron time to tell her on his own terms. I was so selfish. I wanted her to know so I would feel better not keeping anything from them. This is something I have looked back on a lot and regretted.

I tried getting a hold of Aaron after this to talk things out. No answer. He didn’t respond to my texts. He didn’t call me back. He didn’t respond to my Facebook messages. Or acknowledge notes I left on his windshield while he was at work. I knew that I had done something wrong and the silence from him told me that it was over. I was devastated. We never had an actual break up and all I wanted was closure.

I just had to keep moving forward.

20 weeks

31 weeks

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