Connection.

“Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” 

― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Connection. It's been on my mind a lot lately and even more so since I just got done reading Daring Greatly. 

To me, the most important things in life are the relationships I have with people, the time that I get to spend with them and the way that we make each other feel - and whether or not we can connect. 

I have to feel like I belong in order to connect with you.. not just "fit in" but belong. I have to feel respected, cared about, and free from judgment. I have to feel comfortable. 

I’m learning to listen to myself and realize how people make me feel (don't let this get you all paranoid.. this is something everyone should be doing!) and I’m trying to find the courage to only surround myself with those that simply make me feel GOOD (is 'courage' the right word?). And at the same time, I'm trying to be as aware as possible of how I make others feel. Am I a good listener? Do I make them feel cared about? Do they feel GOOD after hanging out with me? Are they able to be themselves? Did I show enough interest in their life and how they've been feeling? Am I allowing them to connect?

It helps if I think of relationships with others as self care and as healthy vs. unhealthy.

Is it healthy to be around people or in situations that make you feel uncomfortable? That make you feel like you need to put on a mask? Or that you need to put up a wall? Or that make you feel invisible? Or make you feel like you're not cared about? Or make you feel anxious? I mean.. clearly I could go on and on but I think you catch my drift.

The answer is ‘NO'! It's not healthy!

DUH!

Do you still make time for these unhealthy relationships? Pause and think about this.. and if you don't have an unhealthy relationship to think about consider yourself blessed! What do you do about the unhealthy relationships in your life?

And then the flip side.. 

How much time do you make for the people who are healthy for you? You know, those relationships that make you feel GOOD? Those that you can connect with.. Do you prioritize those people? Do you reach out to them on a regular basis? If not, WHY? 

Think about the quote again: “Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” 

I feel that no matter how many people you can connect with there’s always room for more. You simply can’t have too many people in your life you can connect with, right? And you can even try to make more time for those people as well. 

& I sure hope to be the type of person that others can feel a genuine, healthy connection with.