Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Tough questions from a 4 year old

Levi (4.5yrs) asks me a lot of questions. Most of the questions are lighthearted but other ones can have complicated answers.

Here are some examples:

"How did you get pregnant?"
"How does the sperm get to the egg?"
"How do your boobs have milk in them?"
"Why doesn't my girlfriend have boobs like you do?"

To name a few..

Questions like this come out of nowhere. They stop me in my tracks.

How do I answer him? I'm honest. As honest as I can be with a 4 year old.

I have learned the importance of starting the sexuality talk as young as babies through a class I was a part of. This isn't exactly what you might think it is. The way you can start with them as babies is as simple as calling private parts by their actual name. No slang. A penis is a penis. Slowly the discussion about sexuality, puberty, sex, etc will grow through teachable moments as they get older. Instead of "lets sit down now that you're at the right age and give you all of the info you need to know in one big talk" there should be little nuggets of info throughout their life. Let them take the lead. They ask you a question, you answer it. They ask another one, you answer that one too. For the moments they ask a question that you don't know how to answer it's okay to ask them "Can I get back to you with that answer?". Books are also great at getting things across that you might not know how to.

I'm really passionate about being honest with my boys especially when it comes to sexuality. I want to try and build the most open relationship with them. I never want them to hesitate to come to me about something. I feel that if I am open and honest with them then I am setting the example and will have a better chance that they will be open and honest with me.


  1. Love this! It is so important to call private parts their proper name, no matter how awkward it may be at first. I plan on just answering the kids questions as they come and thus far none have come up yet. Bug does ask a lot about death though since we have had a couple people in our lives die recently, and fish. I struggle with those questions. How do you explain death to a 3 year old?

    1. Nice to know I'm not alone in banishing wieners and pee pee's from our vocab at home! I guess I don't understand how people can be so shy from saying penis and vagina. Especially to a child. It is what it is! Their questions totally come from what they are exposed to. With me being pregnant around Levi when he was old enough to grasp what was going on it sparked all of these questions in him. So, I'm not surprised that Bug has been asking you about death if that's what has been happening around her. If I were you I would find a children's book about death if you aren't sure how to explain it in terms she might understand. Good luck. That's definitely a tough one.